State of Publishing is No Match for Ego

So there's all this bad news in the publishing world. Yeah, yeah, and you can't find a single job in Michigan either.

Generalizations are always false.

Just as there are still want ads long unfulfilled in Michigan, there are still agents and editors looking for the next great book that will make them money. That is what writing is ultimately about for publishers-- money.

So, with my ego still alive and strong (it's the rest of my brain that took a beating these last two weeks) I'm still fairly confident that my novel, my characters, and my writing are good enough to overcome the 'difficulties' of the current state of publishing. I have something different but still marketable... at least if my fans are any indication. I will find an agent and a publisher who likewise sees what I see in Bo Fexler-- fun stories with a strong, sexy, unashamed female protagonist.

On an unrelated note, ever notice that there's a fine line between dreams and delusions. =)

My Muse

My muse has a sense of humor. Often, when my schedule is wide open, with no obligations, she takes time off. And if she knows that day without obligations is a day when Hubby will be gone all day, she's even lazier.

But when I'm shorting sleep, trying to cram in several different projects and personal commitments, she shows up with this really great idea. Something to do with Bo. And strip poker.

Stupid muse.

And we won't talk about how she loves to give me ideas as I'm drifting off to sleep, warm and snuggled up with already-sleeping Hubby (who gets up at dark o'clock).

I'd hate her, but she does have such good ideas.

I've been trying to bargain with her lately. If she'll give me fragments of ideas when I'm busy, then it gives me something to mull over while I drive to work. Then, when I have lots of time, like some Saturday, she can just nudge the idea along instead of doing real work.

Does your muse behave? Or does she mock you like mine mocks me?

Stuffed Winner

Thanksgiving was good. Great food. Incredible family stories that are quietly filed for later story writing.

Aside from getting stuffed, I also finished my NaNoWriMo effort. Two minutes to minute, I validated my word count and got my special winner badge.

The story still has a long way to go. It's moving into the editing department as we speak. But Editing is taking a long weekend. I'd have a talk with that department, but I wouldn't want to get me in trouble.

Besides, I've been working on several other things. All of them time consuming, mentally tiresome, and unpaid.

Don't be surprised, folks, if my posting gets sparse in the coming weeks. Several things are colliding at the same time-- Dec. 15th is the magic date. Likely, a huge part of my life will take a dramatic change.

I wish it was the signing of an agent or the something writing related, but writing is going to be shoved aside-- not even to the backburner. Writing is probably being pushed into the fridge to wait until later. This was not how I planned to end the year.

Any tips for trying to squeeze twenty-nine hours of activity into a mere twenty-four hours?

Writing as Therapeutic Process

I've heard many a writer has found writing to be therapeutic. I thought I'd give it a whirl in my NaNo novel.

Bo Fexler is a character who is detached from me and my life. She shares mainly surface traits-- drinking Diet Pepsi and driving little cars being two of them.

But with Niki, I took a different route. I including in her story, and back story, many pieces of my own life. I even let her deal with them the same way I had-- with avoidance and in-depth musings. I thought I'd see if there was any relief in that action.

But I can't write when I'm angry. That's about the only time that I usually can't force myself to write. Happy, frustrated, even depressed still allow for writing. When unhappy, the writing is escape into a world I can control.

With Niki's history (and how it mirrors my own), it made me angry when I wrote. And then I would stop writing. When I picked up again, I would just jump to something else-- action instead of reflection. There was nothing therapeutic about the process.

I suppose it shouldn't surprise me that writing these things in a story was not more therapeutic for me than discussing them with hubby or anyone else. I can't fix the problems, can't change what's been done or, worse, where things have ended up. So, I'll go write about something else. Something that doesn't piss me off. Something fun. To escape.

Oh well. Not all writers are created equal. Maybe writing won't help me deal with my own issues. Maybe something else will. But I think I'd best keep writing separate from my issues-- I won't get anything done if I don't.

• Current Song: Nowhere Man by the Beatles
  

The Femme Fatale

Click here for some interesting reading on the femme fatale by Emily Veinglory over at Cliterature. (Great site! No clicky if you get offended by sex.)

I'd like to think that Bo's a femme fatale... but in the best way possible. She is a cross between the cunning detective and the stunning beauty who will have her way at any cost. She is dangerous... and I think that's one of her best features.

Of course, I'm not sure folks are ready for a female lead who can think even when a swoon-worthy man enters the room. Or who can keep control of her own sexuality.

There are a helluva a lot of cultural stereotypes about women that Bo has to fight against. Probably starting with the old double-standard: a man with lots of partners is a stud while a woman with lots of partners is a slut.

What some other gender stereotypes you can think of? And how true are they?

The Quiet Ones

Watch out for the quiet ones. We may not be as innocent as we appear.

We may not swear or say much. We may have our noses in a book or pad of paper. We may do what we're "supposed to."

But we may have other plans. Other lives.

Mine include tales of sex and violence. Doing some research into erotica (yum) has lead me to believe that the first Bo Fexler novel may be an erotic mystery. I'm good with that. Erotica is fun. Sex is fun.

Except for that romance and happily ever after stuff. Gets in the way of the fun part. ;-)

Few people who know me in real life would expect this from me. What about you-- what do people not know about you?

Oh Dear

So, I was musing along in my NaNo, trying to think of a way to make Niki Gipsiss, my new character, into a fuller character.

I decided to have her get laid. Which would have been good for word count too... ignoring the fact that her boyfriend wouldn't comply. (Damn character get these ideas that they can dictate their own actions...)

But shortly there after, I realized that Niki is a very sexual character. She quickly became a fuller character once I started to explore her views and thoughts on sex.

Niki's different from Bo, but sex is a big part of Niki's character too.

Looks like Niki has a tendency to turn to sexual thoughts. A lot. It's fun. I think, for now at least, this is my calling as a writer. (Sorry Ma! ;-)

This is fun-- exploring new writerly worlds. I think it's important as writer to try new things. New stories, new characters, even new processes of writing. Shake off the ordinary and explore. I'm not sure if I can pull off 50k this month, but I'm happy for what I've gotten that doesn't show in word cont.