Saturday, September 13, 2008

Bait and Switch Scam

After careful observation, I have determined that dating is the advertisement for a bait-and-switch scam that is marriage.

Consider the evidence:
When dating-- participants will clean up, comb hair, brush teeth, and dress nicely (if at all possible, and be embarrased if they cannot.)
When married-- participants will roll out of bed in wrinkled sweats/ tee shirt, spend only enough time in the bathroom for bodily functions, and make excuses for why they cannot/ need not tidy up.

When dating-- participants will overlook small slights, like leaving socks on the floor or stopping to check make-up
When married-- participants will cause arguments over the socks left on the floor (slob!) or stopping to check make-up (you look fine, we're going to be late!)

When dating-- participants will exclude all other activities to be with each other, especially if they are having sex
When married-- participants will exclude each other and sex for anything else, especially if it doesn't include the partner

When dating-- participants only speak in glowing, loving terms about their partner
When married-- participants only complain about what their louse of partner has not done now.

When dating-- participants take time to build a relationship with their partner, sharing interests and activities, discussing things and just being with each other
When married-- participants can go days without spending any time together or discussing anything beyond who was supposed to cook dinner or take out the trash or who did it wrong.

My solution-- don't do anything while dating that you wouldn't be willing to do for the rest of your life. No false advertising.

No one pretends that a friendship left to wither without attention and affection will last. But a couple will live in the same house with no attention and no affection and wonder how their relationship died. Um, look, you don't water the garden, it dies.

Marriage is like a garden. With WORK, it can grow into a wonderful, beautiful thing.

That's not say that somedays the work doesn't seem more like shoveling shit than building something nice...

Okay. I got that out of my system. Now I can go back to nodding and spouting socially acceptable phrases as people around me complain about how their marriage/long term relationship is suffering.

(Me? Married 7 years, dated him for 3 before the wedding. Still in love with the guy. No bait-and-switch here, thankfully.)

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